“Did you see the match last night?” I heard N ask the group at our 8-member lunch table. It was my first cafeteria lunch ever, and I had no clue what match was going on.
“What a hit na?” Umm.. cricket.
“But did you see that serve?” No no. Tennis.
“That defence was out of the world.” What defence? Football? Volleyball? Military fortification?
The first few years at the workplace were incredibly difficult. There were exactly three topics people around me spoke about. Sports. Stock markets. Saturday plans (mostly about sport watching).
The only sport I have ever liked is a reading marathon. So that was a non-starter. And stock market? I mostly felt like an imposter opining on investments.
Further, the fear of being branded “that typical girl talking girly topics” discouraged me from opening my mouth; I restricted myself to nodding my head sagely and sometimes even savagely on the merits and demerits of Manchester United, amongst other things.
After many years of staring at my portfolio intently, I have realised that stock market talk is overrated, stock tips should be banned, and consistent investing is the only mantra (more about that on a different day).
Age has taught me to find my voice, to open conversations with topics that interest me. At least one other person would be interested in those topics. No? If not, let all of them hear something new and interesting.
What could those topics be, someone recently wondered. How do I make myself more knowledgeable, they ruminated.
Read. Not necessarily self-help / non fiction, not just fiction either. Just read about the world. Current affairs, presidential changes, new CEO appointments, geopolitical strife, history. Anything that is remotely interesting, not always a tome of 30,000 words, even 300 words would suffice.
Observe. Another kind of reading. I like reading the room, the cafeteria table if you may. I don’t see a point in engaging on minefield topics that take us nowhere. Mostly, I don’t talk about my religious or political leanings. Those are for different tables, catch-ups of a different kind.
Don’t wait. I used to wait, to have a word in, to pivot topics, to shift context. I was worried about fitting in, not fitting in rather. But, the adventurer in me eventually won over, finding pockets of silence for topics, landscapes of people open to new discussions. Today, I actually talk about the lack of pockets in women’s dresses with the same fervour I employ while talking about the GDP growth forecast. If there are more girls, there will be more diverse topics, and that’s a good thing, not a “girly topic - let’s avoid” conundrum.
Unique as a snowflake, my kid learns in school. Different strokes for different folks, we hear often. Then, why should the lunch table be homogeneous in conversation? It is time to introduce some variety out there too.
P. S. Views strictly personal. Post doesn’t refer to any organisation that I am currently associated with.