It seems like I have been speaking forever now. 20 weeks to be precise. My stories have been mine own, with liberal doses of observations I have had around the workplace.
But what about stories that aren’t about me, that happen far away from me, geographically or otherwise?
So, here it is!
Girl At Work (GAW) will bring you an interview a month, in an attempt to explore newer topics, or newer views to some old topics too.
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This week’s guest is Ramya (a fellow substacker). A post graduate from India, Ramya moved to the US around a decade ago. She has been working there since, and keeps facing unique challenges at the workplace.
Hi Ramya. Welcome to GAW.
Hello Kavitha. Happy to talk to the GAW readers.
In one of our recent conversations, you referred to this term ‘micro-aggression’. What is it, can you tell us more?
Micro-aggression was introduced as a diversity training topic in my previous work place. Why do some things that are said to us in passing, become so bothersome? While unconscious bias seems to have clear boundaries, micro-aggression comes with a larger, undefined scope. It is usually a feeling of being offended, and at times unknown to the person causing it. It can even come from the “good” folks, the ones trying hard to avoid conscious and unconscious bias; they sometimes end up saying or doing things that open a can of worms in the receiver's head impacting productivity, efficiency and sanity.
What are a few stark examples of micro-aggression you have faced in your work life?
After joining the workforce in the US, it's become as frequent as sliced bread for me to hear how good my English is. My response usually is “English was my primary medium of instruction in school” and “I used to speak a great deal of English growing up”. However, if I were to sit and think about it, this is really micro-aggression, since there are people from India who don’t speak English very clearly and that becomes an assumption applied upon everyone.
A more specific example is from my previous workplace where I was one of the youngest on the client account team of nearly 2.5K employees. I was also a top performer and higher up in the leadership circle. When a senior person (by age, experience, designation) joined the group, they made it a point to refer to my age as early as our first meeting. “You must have been in high school when I was already reporting directly to the CIO” was one of their many dialogues. I felt put off, wondering if they were even going to take me and my expertise seriously. When I learnt about micro-aggression, I could relate this set of events to that category. I don't think the person knew that they were inflicting this bother on me, but it wasn’t unconscious bias either. They were showing off their experience, making me spend hours and days thinking about how to prove I was good enough.
How do you deal with micro-aggression?
I prefer speaking it out with the doer, tough as it may sound. They either get it and understand me or don't, but at least I make peace with myself and it's out of my head. Sometimes, the culture and context don’t make it conducive to speak up right away, and not all of us are ok with talking this out openly. But, a bit of time spent thinking over the argument and laying the issue out with the micro-aggressor has actually helped me save energy and mindspace, diverting them to more fruitful activities.
Thanks Ramya, for your time and insights on micro-aggression. Wish you all the best in your journey against micro aggression.
Thank you for having me at GAW. Bbye.
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This conversation with Ramya got me thinking. The most frequent micro-aggression I faced as a young person at the workplace was around my accent. “You say ‘that’ in such a funny way hahaha. So South Indian hahahahaha”, as an instance. Our own India or faraway US, the English language seems to give ripe opportunities for micro-aggression.
Have you faced micro-aggression at the workplace or otherwise? Would you like to share?
Have you inadvertently been the micro-aggressor? Will you take a moment to introspect?
P. S. Views strictly personal. Post doesn’t refer to any organisation that I am currently associated with.