This is Part 5 of a multi-part series. Click through for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.
A young friend pinged me the other day. She was in a dilemma - Should I look for a job now while I am thinking of getting pregnant?
She is one of a long line of women who have faced and continue to face this dilemma, a situation unique to women in their 20s and 30s usually.
Let’s understand the pregnancy timeline here and why it is one of the biggest impediments to the modern woman staying in the career pipeline.
Pre-pregnancy: Biological clock, family pressure, babies are cute. It is time to try having a child. Let me not rock the boat and look for a job or pitch myself for a promotion because what if I get pregnant and what if it is a stressful pregnancy or what if the new job or role is stressful and impedes getting pregnant. 3-12 months get spent in this phase.
Pregnancy: Phew. Pregnant now but let me focus on that. Because, I feel guilty about picking up a new role and then going on maternity leave (which is 6 months in India). Also, I don’t want to harm the pregnancy by getting overly stressed with work pressures. 9 months in this phase.
Post-pregnancy: Baby is delivered and I don’t know how the six months go by. Sometimes, I might have to extend my leave further because of post-partum issues or lack of child support or both. 6-12 months in this phase.
In total, a woman spends 1.5-3 years in just the pre, during, and post pregnancy phases, a time period during which the career takes a lower priority, a time period of early-middle management in many cases.
So, imagine if a person is in a job or role that makes them unhappy. A man’s timing for a switch is dependent on finding an opportunity that works for him, in most cases*. A woman’s timing is dependent on finding an opportunity that comes at an opportune time as she manages every other constraint around just becoming a mother.
And by the time she gets an opportune time, she’s either a) too late in the game or, b) has been in a job she doesn’t like for so long that she questions the value of full-time work at all, as against splitting her time across many things that give her satisfaction.
This is a tough problem. And one to which I don’t have any wisdomous suggestions. Except perhaps:
Don’t take the eye off the ball, if a corporate career is something that you have vied all your life. Many roads lead to career advancement, despite breaks. I met a senior leader recently, who had a career break at 35 (as her spouse had to relocate). She still made it to the top after that break, albeit a decade later than her peers.
Don’t make yourself indispensable at home. Outsource to machines and people alike. It is still not a foolproof method to get mental peace and focus, but it at least doesn’t make you the only one who can make the baby’s food fresh every two hours (as an example).
Have brave and open conversations about new roles and job opportunities with hiring managers. Expectation setting can take you a long way. E.g., when I moved into a new role as my child turned 1.5, I told the new manager I will not be able to do a traveling job for a few years, and they were ok with it. This could have swung either way, but I still look back and am relieved I had the conversation rather than let go of the opportunity.
Have you had a success story with your career despite the constraints of motherhood? Do share in comments or ping me separately if you’d like me to cover your story.
P. S. Views strictly personal. None of the events mentioned in this post refer to the organisation that I am currently associated with.
*I have not covered other constraints that might make timing of career advancement difficult for both men and women, including elder-care giving responsibilities, health issues etc. While these are all valid bottlenecks, pregnancy and motherhood still remains the most common and largest impediment to career advancement.