So… tell me your story, I begin. There’s so much to tell but before I narrate MY story, I have to share a few others’ stories too, she says.
Thus starts a one-hour conversation with Deepali, senior corporate leader, mother to a toddler, and a believer in making a difference, one little personal experience at a time.
It was sometime in the 2010s. I had hired a girl for an open position in my team. A day after she joined, she told me she’s 4 months pregnant. I suspect she was worried about not getting the job if she had revealed this during the interview, and hence didn’t tell me. It didn’t bother me because I had hired her with a career trajectory in mind, not simply for a short term job. But when I shared this with my manager, his immediate reaction was, “Perhaps we shouldn’t confirm her”. It took me some time to convince him, laying out the logical reasons. I do look back to that day and know that my being there, as a woman hirer and leader, made a difference. Little did I imagine then that I would be in a sticky situation myself very soon.
I was a month pregnant and under advisement from my doctor against any form of travel when my manager suggested we travel by road for a new promotional campaign. While in an ideal world, I wouldn’t have informed my boss about my pregnancy till the first trimester got over, this development left me with no option but to tell him. He still insisted we undertake the road travel, and gently reminded me of my career prospects (or lack thereof) in the organization if I didn’t. Not wanting to add undue toxicity on to a difficult pregnancy, I quit. Which left me looking for a job while 6 weeks pregnant.
What struck me in the face first was the ghosting. Once recruitment consultants heard of my far-from-ideal situation, they didn’t bother to call back, forget trickling opportunities down my way. I eventually found a freelance consulting role with a homegrown business that I could manage remotely. Surprisingly for a traditional business, the founder saw value in my work, was considerate about my situation, and offered me a full time role with maternity benefits despite little time being left to my delivery. While I didn’t take up the offer due to other constraints, the gesture held promise, that I could still survive and thrive in the corporate world, that not all eggs are bad.
When I eventually got back to a full time position in a different organization, a few months after my child was born, I had lost out on experience-linked level and promotion as compared to my peers. I have never been able to fill that gap despite working through my pregnancy and immediately after my delivery too, since I held a contractual position during that period.
A price I paid for becoming a mother.
Across my corporate career, I have had all kinds of people in my teams. Ones who are committed and outstanding, others who are mediocre and coasting, a few who are ready to leave at the get go. In my experience, it is very difficult to correlate maternity leave and returning mothers to one or another of these categories. Some have been pumped up, excited, wanting to prove their worth to the world; others have lost interest, wanting to quit, move on to other sectors or different jobs. But, I believe we have to continue what we do as corporate leaders to ensure that maternity doesn’t become a roadblock to women’s careers.
Ah! Uhm! I exclaim all through Deepali’s narration. And finally, I ask her two questions that feature prominently in job searchers’ minds.
Do you have any advice for women who are looking to shift jobs while pregnant?
It depends on the situation. Is the woman in a toxic culture and has to leave? Is she in financial need having lost her job? Or perhaps, she has got a great opportunity that pays much more for her current expertise. But, if one is looking for a career shift from a long term perspective, with a broader goal, pregnancy might not be the best time for it. It always helps to have a soft landing, do things one is very good at already, because… Pregnancies go through twists and turns, and we can hardly predict when things might get topsy turvy. Not rocking the boat is a reasonably good idea.
And what about informing the interviewers that one is pregnant?
I hired someone who told me post facto whereas I myself was upfront when searching for a job in a similar situation. While it is simpler to take the moral high ground of “honesty”, the decision is driven by a complex formula of personal priorities & professional constraints. I wish it were easier, but unfortunately it isn’t.
A few months ago, I had written a post on Girl At Work about my pregnancy. That was just the beginning.
Today’s is the very first in a series of posts I plan to write on how people at the workplace (peers, seniors, juniors) look at pregnancy, maternity leaves, and paternity leaves, and why a shift in thinking is urgently required.
Even if these stories touch one person, helping them deal with the pregnancy of their colleagues more thoughtfully, my work here will be done.
P. S. Views strictly personal. None of the events mentioned in this post refer to the organisation that I am currently associated with.
This is the story of every working woman as she goes through her pregnancy. She has to stick on to her job even if unhappy because no one else will hire her. The 6 month maternity leave is another issue why employers don't want to hire pregnant women. It is time employers understand that they are not doing any favour to the woman by giving her the 6 month leave. When it starts feeling like a favour, women find it difficult to get back with the same vigour and enthusiasm.