“He is already looking worried the wife will swipe too much on his card,” said one of the senior people in the room, guffawing boisterously at his own joke. Most others followed suit. Three people squirmed. Me. The guy it was directed at. And his wife.
They were a duo running a design agency, pitching their proposal at this large meeting. The joke was about her, a successful businesswoman who, I assume, would have the capacity to spend her own money and pay her own bills.
“Haha you girls will quit after marriage and chill. I wish I could do that hahaha.” “So, do you plan to carry a big suitcase to fit all your make up hahaha? We men all carry cabin luggage for work trips hahaha.” “Did you get a hefty dowry, dear boy? What with your education and all? Hahahahaha.”
The. Jokes. Never. End.
I have lost count of the number of times I sat in a conference room or a cafeteria listening to a not-so-wise crack and seething internally. About the divide, the othering, the inappropriateness. Most importantly, that the “jokes” didn’t seem to bother majority of the other listeners.
So, what should I do? Call it out at every single instance and be branded a killjoy, the “feminist type” who finds fault with a small, harmless joke? I don’t know.
To be honest, it is difficult to call this out repeatedly, when the world around is laughing away as if a male-female typecast joke is the best thing since sliced bread. It would be nice to have allies, like-minded individuals, who can share the load of setting things straight.
Like the one time an unrelated male stepped in and told a wise-joker, “Ok, that doesn’t sound inclusive. It isn’t a joke really.”
What are some of your experiences with unsavoury jokes at the workplace? Have you employed any successful methods to handle them? Have you had allies speaking up of their own volition? Care to share?
P. S. Views strictly personal. Post doesn’t refer to any organisation that I am currently associated with.