I found out I was pregnant three days after transitioning into a new, exciting, and super hectic role at work.
I had no clue about the playbook. Was I supposed to tell immediately and walk away from the role? Was I supposed to wait till the holy grail called the first trimester got done, because people said the first trimester was everything?
Anyway, if I am performing as expected on the role, I don’t need to tell anyone anything this early on, I reasoned. Also, even when one quits, the notice period is only three months, while this is still a good 8 months away and only a break, not quitting, I further self-analysed.
I eventually told my new boss when I was 4.5 months pregnant, I thought it wasn’t fair to push it out further. Don’t ask me what this heightened sense of fairness was, I don’t understand it in hindsight.
It wasn’t the boss who turned out to be the googly.
It was the others, the well meaning colleagues who threw a fit.
“Why did you take up a new role if you knew you were pregnant?” asked one. Naive as I was, I spent time explaining how I moved to the role before getting to know I was pregnant. I wish they’d ask me again now. I would say “Why the hell will I not? It’s pregnancy, not a death sentence”.
“Why did you tell your boss so late?” asked another. Erm. How late is late? Was I supposed to send a photo of my pregnancy test as soon as it turned positive?
Being pregnant while in a full time job is a touchy topic.
While men can saunter in one day and announce “My wife gave birth last evening but I turned up late because I was caught up in a client meeting” (true story), women’s bodies give them away at a moment’s notice.
Leave aside the unsolvable, almost always do folks assume that the woman won’t come back after maternity leave or she won’t come fully back. I remember a senior person showing visible surprise when I mentioned I would be back full time after maternity leave. “Wow! Women these days…” was the response.
Pregnancy is tiring, motherhood even more so. Actually, it is scary and daunting. While there are a number of reasons women fall off the corporate ladder post childbirth, it would be nice not to accentuate it with biased assumptions, pointless interrogations, and hurried conclusions.
P. S. Views strictly personal. Post doesn’t refer to any organisation that I am currently associated with.